You may have noticed that my blog has a pretty unique, and kind of in-your-face name. This is very intentional. I know as a woman of color, and as a woman in general, I’m a minority in the gaming community. As a woman who refuses to objectify herself in order to gain followers, I’m even deeper in that category.
Now, before I go farther, I want to state that this is my reason for naming my blog and is in no way down-talking other blogs or gamer girls.
When I was a kid I loved video games. I would spend a solid 18 hours playing Super Mario Bros 3, and I beat every Spiro game I could get my hands on. I also loved car racing Playstation games and playing Halo with my brother even though I was pretty much target practice for him. My brother was the hard-core gamer, but I loved trailing in his shadow. When I was 15 I went to college (yeah, I know, I was young) and I decided video games needed to stop being a part of my life so I could focus. And they sat on the back burner for a solid decade as I finished school and figured out my life. It might not be the popular choice, but it was the right one for me.
When I re-entered the gaming community I was a little bit shocked by what it had become. First off, how was this cool now!? Also, what were these awesome conventions? Who were these cool people I could be friends with? When I was growing up I had gamed in isolation, I had never even considered that there were other people out there who shared my interest.
One thing I wasn’t thrilled about was seeing how women were treating themselves as part of the gaming community. It seemed like gameplay wasn’t the only thing you had to be good at. You needed to have lowcut, tight, tank tops on and six gallons of makeup, now. You needed to wear costumes that were three sizes too small, and put your hair in pigtails. Wait. What? Had I missed something?
Like I said, I’m not trying to bash anyone, but that is just not the purpose or the reason I game. I have a face that I sometimes put makeup on. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I like to wear tank tops, but guess what? Cleavage is optional. I hate to think that young girls going into gaming today think that they have to look like playboy bunnies in order to be successful gamers. I don’t ever want to contribute to that side of geek culture, in the same way, I don’t contribute to it with my cosplay. I don’t ever want a mom questioning a girl looking up to me as a role model. I don’t ever want someone looking up to me and feeling like she needs to change herself in order to fit a mold that I’m portraying.
And so, I decided to be pretty intentional about what I named this blog. I wanted to make sure I was staying true to myself and my intentions. I’m no playboy model. I’m no cam model. And I’m very intentional about that. There are places and spaces where girls choose and thrive in that environment. This blog is for the rest of us.